Saying No by Claiming Your True Yes

I hate to feel bullied or pushed into doing something I don’t want to do. It can be that I don’t want to do it or I know it is not in my best interest to do it. For years I said yes and did things I did not want to do so that other people’s feelings would not be hurt or so that others would like me. At Challenge Day’s Next Step Workshop years ago I remember Yvonne telling me it was better to say my true no’s no matter what. It took a lot of work to get me to today. I honor and respect myself.

I now make sure to really be true to my yes and my no. I take emotional care of myself. In doing so I can be a better friend, sister, mother and person. It may be uncomfortable at times to do this, but in the end it is worth it. I am worth it.

I feel trapped when someone tries to force their way on me or make me do something I really don’t want to do. I consider that peer pressure, even if we are adults now. Just because you want me to do that and it will make you happy, you need to respect that it does not work for me on this end. Respect me as a person enough to back off and honor my boundary.

If we all behaved this way, things would be so much easier. We need to trust one another in knowing that everyone knows what is best for themselves. When they give you the yes or no answer, honor them by respecting it. Don’t fight with them about it. You both will just wind up feeling bad.

So think hard next time you have a choice, an opportunity or a request. Is this in my best interest? Is this something I really want to do? Then answer with honesty and kindness. Lets all give this a shot.

+Michelle DeBerge

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