Yesterday I acknowledged the power of surrender. By surrender, I mean not going into story, lack of, emotion, stress or any other form of being that would knock me off my feet. When we get overwhelmed and things are not working as planned, it is easy to go into victim (Why does this always happen to me?), fear, stress or overwhelm. When we do that it actually creates a snowball effect with the energy getting bigger and bigger until it is challenging to see a way out of it or another way of being. Not for me yesterday.
If you really knew me, you would know that I have been working harder than I ever have in my life, much longer hours and with a learning curve that is so steep it would rival the world’s steepest roller-coaster! So at this point, I need nothing to go wrong, add to my workload or not work out. In fact, every morning I set the intention that the day will be filled with love, connection, laughter, productivity and ease. Yesterday did not deliver the ease.
I went to the grocery store to pick up supplies for the next few days. I noticed that the road was quite empty since it was a holiday weekend. I stopped, as I usually do at the four way stop sign by the small shopping center a few miles from my home. There seemed to be no one around. As I attempted to drive forward after my full stop, I realized my car was not working. The engine turned over but it would not move.
Within seconds of me putting my flashers on and rolling down my window, cars came out of nowhere honking at me and surrounding me. I frantically waved them past me, praying they would not crash into me. I immediately called my car insurance roadside service number and put it on speaker while still waving the angry drivers to go around me. All of a sudden, a very tall man came jogging up to my car. He told me to put it into neutral and he would push my car out of the way because the hill sloped down towards the shopping center.
As he pushed, the insurance operator was arranging a tow truck and I spied the chocolate doughnut in the bag on the seat beside me that I had picked up for a friend. Before you knew it, I had jammed the doughnut into my mouth, put the operator on speaker and was attempting to steer the car without the power steering working and the man was yelling at the folks below the car to get out of the way. As I was rolling down the hill towards the parking lot a beautiful sleek black jaguar appeared right in my path oblivious to my dire situation. I could not warn him because my mouth was stuffed full with the chocolate doughnut.
Lucky for me a split second before I would have hit him, he backed out of the way. I went rolling towards the parking spaces at a strange angle. headed towards the window at the local subway store. I was not sure if my car and I would end up inside of the restaurant or not at this point. My car crashed hard into the sidewalk and bounced off coming to a stop across 3 spaces. At this point, the operator was asking me questions about my location and at the same time, the man who saved me came to my window to see if I was ok. As I tried to answer the operator and thank the man, I realized I could not because my mouth was still full of what had to be the worlds most dense chocolate doughnut ever! The man waved and went to his car and drove away.
I finally choked down the lump of doughnut and was able to let the operator know my location. Then a friend happened along who I had not seen in a while. Within minutes he had his friend who has a garage on the phone assuring me it was the fuel pump and he would fix it Monday morning. The tow truck driver appeared and for some strange coincidence, I knew him also. So he took the car and left me there with my bags of groceries and a look of bewilderment on my face at how things were turning out.
My friend drove me home where I presented my other friend with the cinnamon roll that I had also gotten him. As I passed the bag to him I thought I was lucky I had not jammed that in my mouth!
For some reason, I was calm and clear as all the events unfolded. Now my one odd thing was the jamming the doughnut in my mouth since I don’t eat sugar or gluten. As I sat down at home and went through the pieces I realized I had surrendered in the actual event. I did not fight against or try to change what was happening in that moment. I did not go into victim or upset. I just was.
As I shared my story with my friend who was now happily munching on the giant cinnamon roll, I realized the power of surrender. To surrender to that which I had no control over but to manage myself to the best of my ability. Instead of overwhelm, I had calm. Instead of stress, I had peace. Despite this happening at a time in my life that I need everything to go right, it went wrong. Yet I did not let it take me down. I surrendered.
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