A short video of what I was struggling with.
Self Doubt About My Body Image Tried to Stop Me
[Tweet “The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.― Sylvia Plath”]
Self doubt seems to pop up at some of the most inconvenient moments for me. Just when things are rolling along smoothly, I am feeling confident and things are good…BAM…it pops its ugly head up again. It seems to sneak in unseen and then just stop me in my tracks. It is not an often occurrence, but when it happens things come to a screeching halt.
When this happens, I take a moment and look inside. Why is this coming up, what do I need to learn or let go of? On this day the self doubt was about my ability and my appearance. When I first started making videos for my coaching business I was unsure and very judgemental of how I looked. Not necessarily my content but the outside package.
For the past year and a half I have changed my lifestyle to be gluten, sugar and dairy free. I was extremely overweight and tired of being that way. As soon as I changed my lifestyle the weight has been pouring off of me. In fact, three months ago I gave away all of my clothes. Every week I am shrinking. I have more energy, feel better and am enjoying how my face and body is transforming. I finally have cheekbones again!
You would think that would help with confidence. In fact it shook my confidence up. I had looked a certain way for so long that as the changes began to occur, they were never enough in my mind. I drove myself crazy with self judgement. I finally got over it and started celebrating the changes and got comfortable in a body that is in constant change.
Then yesterday as I was editing videos for a video challenge I got overwhelmed by self doubt again. This time I decided not to let it run me. I got out of the studio with the good lights and backdrops. I jumped in front of my camera on my desk in natural light and dropped the water line. I know I am not the only person who struggles with body image. So I decided to share my story and in doing so, it freed me from the doubt.
My challenge to you is: If you are letting self doubt stop you from being fully expressed, explore it and let it go!
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You sound like have come so far….too far to let self- doubt raise its ugly specter and ruin it. Just keep on going! You can do this Michelle.
Thank you Michael. I definitely won’t let it ruin me. I was being aware of when it comes up so I can overcome it! Thank you for your supportive comment.
We could be twins, I also have been plagued with self doubts that made me procrastinate so much in 2013. The saving grace was losing 42 lbs and I am planning to lose the remaining 13 starting mid February. Basically now I am on the 5 out of 8 maintenance of my weight.
Now the next challenge is making videos. I have a strong Spanish accent that 35 years in England did not change. People understood me in my accountancy career but I am still full of doubts.
I will do it as my phrase for 2014 is Believe and Succeed.
Thank you for your post.
I am so excited for your venture into videos. I am thrilled that you are not letting doubt stop you and congratulations on your weight loss!
Thank you for being so raw and vulnerable. So true – so much rests on our self image. Self doubt can be crippling! But when people like you share from such a real space it helps others realize they are not alone. I know I deal with the same issue and am so grateful for the people around me… and my own tenacity.
Thank you Rachel. I know that many of us have struggled with it. One of the ways for me not to let it win is to talk about it in an open forum! Thank you!
I think we could have written nearly the same blog! Its very hard to be bold and brazen about our fears and insecurities. Good on you for challenging yours!
I’m half of my goal weight but as I am losing I am also dealing with other demons that have arisen. A challenge yes, but one I am determined to see through.
I ran into your blog on UBC. I’d love to follow and keep up with you!
That is wonderful that you are half way to your goal. I too know about the other demons that come up when doing such a lifestyle change. It is a messy, challenging but beautiful dance if we remind ourselves that we are strong enough and worth it to continue to do it for ourselves! Thank you for reaching out Sierra.
First time on your site.
I think many of us can relate to self doubt. Often times we set our intentions to only fall over to self doubt. It’s easier to talk ourselves out of something instead of doing something we know we should be doing. We can always craft stories in our head that allows us to not doing what we’re “supposed” to do. At the end of the day, we just need to ask ourselves, “what am I doing this for?”
Great overall post Michelle! 🙂
Thank you Nate. I agree it is easier sometimes to talk ourselves out of things than doing it when doubt creeps in. I like your question to remind us of why we are doing it.
Congratulations on your transformation Michelle! Thank you for sharing this great information!! Awesome article!