A short video of what I was struggling with.
Self Doubt About My Body Image Tried to Stop Me
[Tweet “The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.― Sylvia Plath”]
Self doubt seems to pop up at some of the most inconvenient moments for me. Just when things are rolling along smoothly, I am feeling confident and things are good…BAM…it pops its ugly head up again. It seems to sneak in unseen and then just stop me in my tracks. It is not an often occurrence, but when it happens things come to a screeching halt.
When this happens, I take a moment and look inside. Why is this coming up, what do I need to learn or let go of? On this day the self doubt was about my ability and my appearance. When I first started making videos for my coaching business I was unsure and very judgemental of how I looked. Not necessarily my content but the outside package.
For the past year and a half I have changed my lifestyle to be gluten, sugar and dairy free. I was extremely overweight and tired of being that way. As soon as I changed my lifestyle the weight has been pouring off of me. In fact, three months ago I gave away all of my clothes. Every week I am shrinking. I have more energy, feel better and am enjoying how my face and body is transforming. I finally have cheekbones again!
You would think that would help with confidence. In fact it shook my confidence up. I had looked a certain way for so long that as the changes began to occur, they were never enough in my mind. I drove myself crazy with self judgement. I finally got over it and started celebrating the changes and got comfortable in a body that is in constant change.
Then yesterday as I was editing videos for a video challenge I got overwhelmed by self doubt again. This time I decided not to let it run me. I got out of the studio with the good lights and backdrops. I jumped in front of my camera on my desk in natural light and dropped the water line. I know I am not the only person who struggles with body image. So I decided to share my story and in doing so, it freed me from the doubt.
My challenge to you is: If you are letting self doubt stop you from being fully expressed, explore it and let it go!
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